oh me … oh my ….

OK .. Saturday morning here … feeling dreadfully sorry for myself …

So tired … so much to do .. pitying myself for my current circumstances .. and whilst my tiredness may very well be due to ‘over commitment’ …

never the less ..

I am exhausted …

And yet a ‘No’  .. or ‘I can’t’ .. are almost impossible for me to speak forth …

So .. I really don’t know what the answer is .. I am wrapped up in not wanting to let other’s down ..

I suspect – after a helpful chat with my ‘soul sister ‘ last night that my desire to help may be tangled in a need for approval … not that she had to say a thing .. but just through our conversation I am able to soak in the wisdom of her life lessons ..

I don’t like to let other’s down … I am loathe to see them struggle.  I want their lives to be a little easier .. lighter .. for them not to have the burden that I felt as a young parent .. and I guess that whilst my motives are good .. I  may need to take stock ..

I am HEARING all the ‘i’s’ in that sentence … like a lesson from an English teacher …

MAYBE .. it IS  all about me and my needs ..???

Ouch …

What I am thankful for in all of this morning’s thinking is …

The blessing of friendship… a mature and non judgmental ‘grown up’ friendship ..

For chats that go everywhere .. that make me think .. and challenge me .. that encourage me and lighten my spirit ..

Self pity unnecessary and thankfully short lived today  … (although I am not always such a fast learner) …

I pray that each of us may be blessed with a special .. once – in-a- lifetime friendship ….

And .. most importantly .. that we will have a friendship with Jesus …

Greater love has no one than this : to lay down one’s life for one’s friends ‘ John 15:12-14 …

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