‘Present Over Perfect’ . The new or slightly improved me 😂

So amazing the 💡 has just gone on with a BANG for Me ..

‘feeling helpful to strangers doesn’t do it for me anymore’.

*Page 95 of Shauna Niequist book ‘Present Over Perfect’.

That’s me.

EXACTLY where I am at.

Burned out from 39 years of Customer service.

Trying to reconcile the changes in my heart and mind over the past 6 months.

Especially the change of heart in my desire to serve the public and help people. I think that I have always felt like I had to make every body ‘like me’ and the more people I pleased the more whole I was.

I realise now, that was a sham.

I’ve recently been going through such a metamorphosis (the last 3 months especially).

There have been days when I have really disliked myself. The anger that has swelled inside my heart as no matter how hard I tried to help people, they were still so rude and disrespectful. It has been so difficult to keep trudging those steps to work as I waited to see what God had in store.

I’ve had times of immense patience and trust, as I knew that He was doing something. And at other times I’ve acted like a spoiled brat. Fed up. Wanting to spit the dummy and stand up to the rudeness.

Not put up with being someone else’s whipping post.
Whether it be someone moody or unhelpful, or a customer who feels so entitled that they treat you like dirt. I have wanted to scream. I’VE HAD ENOUGH AND I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE’.

The last three weeks have probably been the most difficult. The last two days at my job almost unbearable. Leaving – in a way that I had not intended. Doing something that I have never done, by walking out after an disagreement with the boss.

Now, three days later, I just feel relieved.
I feel like I can move on. Into the new and unexpected. A little nervous, but a lot excited as I wait to see what God has planned for me and mine.

Trusting Him with the unknown, not having a regular, secure, stable job is scary.

The important thing though, is that We have never gone hungry. Bills may have been paid late – but they were still paid.
God has and will – provide for us. I know that full well.

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