W H A T ….

What happens when someone you care about, seems unable to be reached ???

Your heart is in anguish because you want to reach them … They seem distant – Or are really struggling themselves .. Or just want space .. or time .. or to be alone ?

It is tough .. You may feel spurned or rejected .. Or inadequate .. Or just plain sad, that you know that they are hurting, but still want to unplug or disconnect …

In those moments, days .. weeks .. or even years – How do you cope or deal with this ?

It may be a parent / child relationship – or your spouse, a sibling or a friend.

The pain you feel is no less real – whatever the connection.

As a woman, I believe our hearts desire is to want to fix things

and we ache when this seems to be out of our control.

Or it may be that WE are the ones who need to pull back, because our lives are complicated or overwhelmed and we are being pulled in many directions.

Sometimes these are short seasons of our lives .. and other times, it feels like they will … never … end …

I have no magic solution … I tread the same path as you.

Life is a complex and complicated array of relationships, events and circumstances.

Some days I get up and bound out of bed without fear of what lies ahead, and on others I go through the motions – wishing that I could pull the covers over my head and stay inside my cosy home away from the BIG, wide world outside my four walls.

One thing that I have learned, is that I cannot do life on my own.

I need girlfriends, family, friends and prayer to support and sustain me in the craziness of life.

And even more – this life is NOT all about me … No .. really … it’s not … 🙂

I am comforted to be a part of a Church family who are local and who care. They keep me honest and accountable.

I know that plugging in to the Bible – breathes encouragement into my mind and heart. Yet I often busy myself and it’s not the first place that I turn. I want AND need to get better at this – because based on my own experience – when I make the effort to seek God in prayer and through His word – my life is more balanced and manageable – Please note that I didn’t say easier 🙂

Some verses which I find encouraging , from the New International Version Bible (NIV)

‘ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;’ 2 Corinthians 4:8

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.’ Joshua 1:9

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.’  Isaiah 40:29

I know if you have a dig around in God’s word – that you won’t have to look far to find more encouragement. Please feel free to share with me – your own favourite verses 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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More than just Hair ….

So this is the one thing that I have looked forward to the WHOLE week .. A week that has been the usual up and down .. with some added ‘challenges’ for good measure …

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I go to the hairdresser on average – every 6 weeks .. occasionally I have to make it on the fifth week ..

It’s my ‘thing’ … getting my hair done .. along with coffee with friends – one of my greatest pleasures.
I can live without lots of luxuries, but hairdressing is in my blood .. literally ..
My grandmother was a hairdresser .. My Thursday night / Saturday Morning job throughout High School and in the first year of my marriage was in a Hairdressing Salon (I even commenced an apprenticeship – but sadly my hands couldn’t cope with the chemicals) .. I also have a sister who is a hairdresser. I was happy to sweep the floor, dust stock, even enjoyed the smell of the solutions, shampoos etc ..

Now .. I find the 1 1/2 hours spent there therapeutic. The decision to keep my current style VS a new one thought about frequently .. Maybe even a new colour ?

I enjoy the scalp massage at the basin as my cares are washed away down the drain for at least 10 minutes … I feel fresh and invigorated when I leave ..

I think that part of the attraction is the people connection .. you form a relationship with your hairdresser.

You have to trust that they will listen to you .. That they can interpret what you mean when you say you only want a ‘little bit’ off .. (because a ‘little bit’ to me – might mean a ‘lot’ to you)  … Hairdressers are also artists in my opinion .. so I need to connect with their STYLE of creativity..

My trip to the hairdresser reminds me of the importance of communication in any relationship … of both parties knowing where they stand .. Of feeling comfortable to be honest ..

Not all relationships have that kind of maturity – some people are highly sensitive, and others insensitive ..

Some have no verbal filter and their thoughts just pop out … Some are very caring, others self absorbed.

But .. the only person in the whole world – that I know with certainty – that I can have any influence in changing …

is

ME

That is so important for me to remember.

It will help me overcome the frustrations of expecting something different from someone who is not capable of

or ready for

CHANGE …

My only hope of having any peace in my life – is to please the very one who created me – by treating others – the same way I want to be treated …

EVEN if they don’t respond in kind ..

Not that I have to be a doormat – I can still speak honestly and not allow myself to be pushed around. But there is definitely a respectful way to do that. It is called ‘speaking the truth in love’…

and this is what the Bible has to say about it.

Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible (AMP)

15 Rather, let our lives lovingly [a]express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

Don’t Know .. Or .. am I sinking in the quicksand of life ?

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Okay … I just don’t know if there is a ‘right’.. or a ‘wrong’ time to blog my thoughts ?

Now may – NOT – be – it ..
but I am struggling … Struggling a LOT ..

I am feeling stretched in a million directions .. wanting to BE everything .. to those that I care about …
Wanting to GIVE everything to my new job … wanting to pray, to read .. to just BE …

Life feels like it’s closing in at times and that joy has somehow leaked out of my system …

In my head and my heart I KNOW that God is definitely present .. and that He cares about me … but what I am doing to help myself ?

How do I live each day in the sure and secure knowledge that I don’t have to BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYBODY ?????

This is where my struggle seems to be the biggest … I am hardwired to be the best I can be – I recently realised that I am also competitive – (clearly never in a sporting context though) , but if I do something – I REALLY want to do it well !!!

Life hasn’t felt this hard since I had little kids .. and I fumbled my way through each day .. wanting to excel at Motherhood .. yet knowing inside I was not ‘doing so good’..

Frankly – I feel like one of those Circus performers- who – whilst riding a Unicycle, can juggle, and spin plates on each and every limb – all at once … EXCEPT … I am dropping the plates and my unicycle is almost off balance ..
How long (I wonder) – before I fall off completely ???

In all honesty – I don’t know what the solution is ..

I wholeheartedly LOVE and want to be there for my family … I wholeheartedly believe that I am in the job God wants me in ..may be that’s my problem ???

MY WHOLE HEART ???

MY ….
W H O L E
Heart ????

Maybe it’s enough to give a part of me to each thing ? Allowing God to ‘fill the gaps’???

I think that I may be onto something here ???

I have been ‘caught in a trap’ *insert Elvis’ voice here*

It’s the trap of I-have-to-do-everything-myself aka ‘fix-everything’ …

I could go on about being the ‘over-responsible oldest child in the family’ … but can’t blame that ..(although it IS a part of what makes me , ME) …

Just when I think that I have ‘grown’ or ‘matured in my faith’.. Something comes along that ‘throws me for a loop’.. Which is, in a sense, really good – because It reminds me that I will always be dependant on God .. that I will never be perfect .. and the greatest reminder of all … and the most liberating .. I don’t have to do it all myself …

Now .. this may be a lightning bolt moment .. but one thing that I am sure of is … I will at some point regress .. and God will have to remind me again .. that He is in control …

But for now – I am thankful. I shall pray for those I love (and those I need to love) .. I shall continue to be the best I can be (but remember that I definitely don’t have to be all things to all people) …

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’
Isaiah 40:31 NIV